These aren't really jokes, but they should make you smile =D
EVER WONDERED.....
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why you don't ever see the headline: "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
Why Doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?
Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavour, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
Why the man who invests all your money is called a "Broker"?
Why there isn't mouse flavoured cat food?
Who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavour?
Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box?
Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
Why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
Why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?
AND.....
In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Myer hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping". (Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary... Details inside. (The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap". (And that would be how???)
On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost"... (But, it's just a suggestion).
On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down". (Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating". (And you thought????..)
On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body". (But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication". (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness". (And.....I'm taking this because???)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only". (As opposed to.....what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use". (Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts". (Talk about a news flash!
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts". (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".
Thanks for the opportunity and a happy halloween to you!
LE PET VALUES (more coming soon as makers come out) Arinya ??? 2m Chibs ??? 5.5m Crikey ??? not released yet Dakota ??? 4.5m Daisy ??? 500K Ercuw ??? 4m Gizmo ??? 3m Huthiq ??? 1m Ike ??? 3.5m Kronk ??? 2m Lati ??? 4m Mordo ??? 2.2m Nino ??? 4m Oglue ??? 1.2m Phanty ??? 1m Poera ??? 1.5m Pucu ??? not released yet Quell ??? 4.5m Rofling ??? 30m+ Rusty ??? 2m Sindi ??? 5m Snookle ??? 5m Tasi ??? 4m Troit ??? 2.5m Viotto ??? 9m+ Yuni ??? 8m Zoink ??? 1.2m Zoosh ??? 2.5m
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COSTUMES When adding the value of the costume to the value of the pet... -When finding the value of a pet, you use the cheapest way to make the pet, not necessarily the potion/costume/etc. -You only count the costume value on a LE, when it comes to trading non-LEs, it's based on user preference. -If that pet's species and color exists in a potion, you count it as just the value of the potion. -If the potion is in AUs, you do not count the costume. -If the costume/potion is worth less than 1m, you don't count it. -You only count that pet's current costume (if it's worth 1m+), not all the costumes it's had.
Angel ??? 25m+ Anime??? 600k Armoured ??? 3m Baby ??? 35m Balloon ??? 600k Black ??? 600k Blue ??? 600k Bronze ??? in SS Brown ??? in SS Burnt ??? in SS Camouflage ??? 8m Checkered ??? 9m-14m Cheese ??? 5m-10m Chinese ??? 1.5m-2m Chocolate ??? 1m+ Christmas ??? 850k-2m Clown ??? in SS Cotton Candy ??? 1m Cowboy ??? 1m Dark ??? 10m Devil ??? 2m Digital ??? 500k+ Earthfairy ??? 1.5m Easter ??? in SS Eleka ??? 1.5m-2m Elf ??? 3m-5m Emo ??? 600k+ Enpiah ??? 1m Explorer ??? 750k Fairy ??? 10m Fat ??? in SS Fire ??? 15m+ Firefairy ??? 1m Funky ??? 700k+ Furry ??? 550k+ Geek ??? 1.5m Ghost ??? in SS Gingerbread ??? 850k Glass ??? in SS Goblin ??? 1.5m Gold ??? in SS Gothic ??? 13m Green ??? in SS Grey ??? in SS Halloween ??? 4m Hobo ??? 10m Ice ??? 700k+ Ice Fairy ??? 1.5m Insideout ??? 700k Leprechaun ??? 1m Light ??? 750k Lightfairy ??? 1m Lightning ??? 750k Love ??? 10m Mermaid ??? 25m Midnight ??? in SS Millionaire ??? 750K Mummy ??? /price of Mummy Doll/ Musical ??? in SS Mutant ??? /price of DNA/ Nefarious ??? 700k Ninja ??? in SS Old ??? 25m Orange ??? in SS Pink ??? in SS Pirate ??? 1m Pixie ??? 700K Plant ??? 700k Plushie ??? in SS Princess ??? in SS Prison ??? /get arrested/ Punk ??? 1m Purple ??? in SS Radioactive ??? in SS Rainbow ??? 25m+ Recycled ??? in SS Red ??? in SS Robot ??? 800k Rotten ??? 1in SS Royal ??? 10m School ??? in SS Seasonal ??? 50m+ Shaved ??? 60k Silver ??? in SS Simerian ??? 800k Skater ??? 700k+ Skeleton ??? in SS Sketch ??? in SS Skinny ??? in SS Slime ??? 375k Snow ??? in SS Snowman ??? 850k Space ??? 650k Spacefairy ??? 700k Sparkle ??? 600k Sponge ??? in SS Starry ??? 7.5m Stoneage ??? 2.5m Superhero ??? in SS Toddler ??? in SS Underwater ??? 2m Undying Fairy ??? in SS Valentine ??? 700k Vampire ??? 700k Voodoo ??? 1m Vortex ??? 700k Water ??? 13m White ??? in SS Witch ??? 6m Wizard ??? 60m Yellow ??? in SS Zombie ??? Kill pet =P
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PET NAMING TERMS -bad/okay names take away from the value -good names are a plus -very good names add to the value
VWN = very well named (Medal) -Is a short, common, real, pronounceable word/name.
WN = well named (Syllia) -First letter only capitalized, is one pronounceable word/name, only letters.
DN = decent named (SarahJane) -Only letters, long/unpronounceable, 2 or more words, first letter isn't capitalized/letter other than first is capitalized.
ON = okay named (lovellia) -same as DN
BN = badly named (adorable123) -Same as DN, and has numbers/characters in it.
VBN = very badly named (i_lyk_927636766) -Same as BN, but longer and with more numbers/characters.
RW = short, common, real word named (Old)
RN = short, common, real name (Bea)
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GENERAL PET TRADING TERMS
ETT - easy to trade HTT - hard to trade k - thousand m - million baby stats - stats 10 and under statted pet - pet with stats 10+ learnied pet - pet with learnies worth over 1m OTB - offer to beat GL - good luck OBO - or better offer upsizing - trading pets for more pets of the same value downsizing - trading pets for less pets of the same value
