|.........| |.........| Put This On Your |.........| Page If You Have |.......O | Ever Pushed A |.........| Door That Said Pull |.........| or |.........| have walked into a glass door!
1. A blonde went to buy a Pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.
"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"
2. A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived. "My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?" "Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped. "Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car. "Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...." "Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."
3. A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game.
She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand."
"What did you not understand ?"
And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!
4. There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror.
If you told a lie it would suck you in.
One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.
The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.
Then the next day a blond walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think...' and it sucked her in.
5. Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out. They try using their cell phones to get help, but have no luck. Even the phones are out.
After a few hours of being stuck with no help in sight, one blonde says to the others "I think the best way to call for help is by yelling together."
The others agree with the first, so they all inhale deeply and begin to yell loudly "Together, together, together."
6. There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.
The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"
Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"
Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00
The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"
Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.
7. A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, ???Is something wrong????
To which she replied, ???There certainly is!???
My stupid computer keeps saying, ???You???ve got mail!???
8.Q.How do you drown a blond?
A.Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool
9. Q:do you know how to erase a blonde's mind
A:blow in there ear
10. Q: What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pick the month you were born: January-------I kicked February------I loved March--------I kissed April----------I licked May----------I jumped on June----------I smelled July-----------I did the Macarena With August--------I had lunch with September----I danced with October-------I sang to November-----I yelled at December-----I ran over
Pick the day (number) you were born on: 1-------a birdbath 2-------a monster 3-------a phone 4-------a fork 5-------a snowman 6-------a gangster 7-------my mobile phone 8-------my dog 9-------my best friends' boyfriend 10-------my neighbor 11-------my science teacher 12-------a banana 13-------a fireman 14-------a stuffed animal 15-------a goat 16-------a pickle 17-------your mom 18-------a spoon 19------ - a smurf 20-------a baseball bat 21-------a ninja 22-------Chuck Norris 23-------a noodle 24-------a squirrel 25-------a football player 26-------my sister 27-------my brother 28-------an ipod 29-------a surfer 30-------a llama 31-------A homeless guy
Pick the color of shirt you are wearing: White---------because I'm cool like that Black---------because that's how I roll. Pink-----------because I'm crazy. Red-----------because the voices told me to. Blue-----------because I'm unique and I do what I want Green---------because I think I need some serious help. Purple---------because I'm AWESOME! Gray----------because Big Bird said to and he's my leader. Yellow--------because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars Orange--------because my family thinks I'm stupid anyway. Brown---------because I can.. Other----------because I'm a Ninja! None----------because I can't control myself
[] You have a boyfriend/girlfriend. [x] You have your own room. [] You own a cell phone. [] You have an mp3 player/ipod/discman. [x] Your parents are still married. [x] You love your family (Sometimes) [] There is a pool/spa/lakee in your backyard.
[] You dress the way you want to. [] You hang out with friends more than once a week. [x] There is a computer/ laptop in your room. [x] You have never been beaten up [x] You are allowed to listen to the music you want to [x] Your room is big enough for you [] People don't use you for something you have [x] You have been to the movies.
[] You have over 500 friends on myspace [i dont have] [] You have pictures on myspace [] Your parents let you have a myspace (Have no myspace) [] You get allowance/loan. [] You collect something normal. [] You look forward to going to college/university/tafe [] You don't wish you were someone else. [x] You play/have played a sport. [x] You want to do something after school/college/university [job lol]
[x] Your family owns a car/truck/van. [car] [] You usually don't fight with your parent(s). []You have never got a failing grade on a report card in your life [x] You have friends. [] You've never had a detention
[x] You know what is going on in the world. [sort of lol] [x] You are happy with your life [x] You usually aren't sick. [x] You know more than one language. [bit of french] [x] You have a screen name. [x] You own/owned a pet. [x] You know the words to more than 5 songs [] You don't have any enemies
