MaraPets - luke4567

8 entries · 51 comments · since 2008

|.........|
|.........| Put This On Your
|.........| Page If You Have
|.......O | Ever Pushed A
|.........| Door That Said Pull
|.........| or
|.........| have walked into a
glass door!

luke456715 Mar 20094comments

FUNNY BLOND JOKESluke4567

1. A blonde went to buy a Pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

2. A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
"My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."
"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."

3. A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game.

She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand."

"What did you not understand ?"

And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!

4.
There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror.

If you told a lie it would suck you in.

One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

Then the next day a blond walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think...' and it sucked her in.

Keep reading →

luke456712 Mar 200910comments

MAD FUNNY THINGSluke4567

Pick the month you were born:
January-------I kicked
February------I loved
March--------I kissed
April----------I licked
May----------I jumped on
June----------I smelled
July-----------I did the Macarena With
August--------I had lunch with
September----I danced with
October-------I sang to
November-----I yelled at
December-----I ran over

Pick the day (number) you were born on:
1-------a birdbath
2-------a monster
3-------a phone
4-------a fork
5-------a snowman
6-------a gangster
7-------my mobile phone
8-------my dog
9-------my best friends' boyfriend
10-------my neighbor
11-------my science teacher
12-------a banana
13-------a fireman
14-------a stuffed animal
15-------a goat
16-------a pickle
17-------your mom
18-------a spoon
19------ - a smurf
20-------a baseball bat
21-------a ninja
22-------Chuck Norris
23-------a noodle
24-------a squirrel
25-------a football player
26-------my sister
27-------my brother
28-------an ipod
29-------a surfer
30-------a llama
31-------A homeless guy

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White---------because I'm cool like that
Black---------because that's how I roll.
Pink-----------because I'm crazy.
Red-----------because the voices told me to.
Blue-----------because I'm unique and I do what I want
Green---------because I think I need some serious help.
Purple---------because I'm AWESOME!
Gray----------because Big Bird said to and he's my leader.
Yellow--------because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars
Orange--------because my family thinks I'm stupid anyway.
Brown---------because I can..
Other----------because I'm a Ninja!
None----------because I can't control myself

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luke45672 Mar 200913comments

HOW TO ANNOY ADULTSluke4567

Ways Too Annoy adults

1.follow them around the house everywhere.

2. Moo when they say your name.

3. Pretend to have amnesia.

4. Say everything backwards.

5. Run into walls.

6. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion.

7. Go into their room at 4 in the morning and say "Good Morning Sunshine!"

8. Snort loudly when you laugh and then laugh harder.

9. Say all of the words in a film.

10. Pluck someone's hair out and yell "DNA!!!"

11. Wear a sticker that says "I'm a !"

12. Talk to a pen.

13. Have 20 imaginary friends that you talk to ALL the time.

14. Try and climb the wall.

15. In public yell "NO MUM I WILL NOT clip ur toenails"

16. Put pegs on your nose and eyes.

17. Switch the light button on and off for awhile. Then say "Oh...I get it!"

18. Eat your hair.

19. Hold their hand and whisper to them "I see dead people."

20. When you shower or bath yell "I'm drowning!!!!"

21. At everything they say yell "LIAR!!"

22. Pretend to be a phone.

23. Try to swim in the floor.

24. Tap on their door all night.

25. When they say a word from a song you know...burst into that song.

26. Look through magazines and shout loudly "BRITTANY IS MARRIED TO A CAVE MAN!" and other random things.

27. Take all of the toilet paper from the bathroom and try to sell it to ur parents!

28. Pass out bananas

29. Ask how much is 1 hersheys kiss

30. Skip down the aisles singing "i've been working on the railroad......"

31. Hand out missing person fliers of yourself

32. Say "thats hot!" after EVERY thing you say.

33. Camp out in the frozen food section.

34.Ask someone where the cereal is when you're standing right next to it.

35. Give random old people your number

36. Go around asking people if their mother knows what they're doing.

37. Go up to someone and tell them their face is funny and run away.

Keep reading →

luke456726 Feb 20092comments

Quiz !!!!!!!!luke4567

[] You have a boyfriend/girlfriend.
[x] You have your own room.
[] You own a cell phone.
[] You have an mp3 player/ipod/discman.
[x] Your parents are still married.
[x] You love your family (Sometimes)
[] There is a pool/spa/lakee in your backyard.

[] You dress the way you want to.
[] You hang out with friends more than once a week.
[x] There is a computer/ laptop in your room.
[x] You have never been beaten up
[x] You are allowed to listen to the music you want to
[x] Your room is big enough for you
[] People don't use you for something you have
[x] You have been to the movies.

[] You have over 500 friends on myspace [i dont have]
[] You have pictures on myspace
[] Your parents let you have a myspace (Have no myspace)
[] You get allowance/loan.
[] You collect something normal.
[] You look forward to going to college/university/tafe
[] You don't wish you were someone else.
[x] You play/have played a sport.
[x] You want to do something after school/college/university [job lol]

[x] Your family owns a car/truck/van. [car]
[] You usually don't fight with your parent(s).
[]You have never got a failing grade on a report card in your life
[x] You have friends.
[] You've never had a detention

[x] You know what is going on in the world. [sort of lol]
[x] You are happy with your life
[x] You usually aren't sick.
[x] You know more than one language. [bit of french]
[x] You have a screen name.
[x] You own/owned a pet.
[x] You know the words to more than 5 songs
[] You don't have any enemies

Keep reading →

luke456729 Dec 20086comments