All I did was read the first chunk of the story, and couldn't read any more. First, you do know that you need to start a new paragraph whenever a new character speaks, right?
Anyway, I found it kind of choppy and hard to read. It lacked description, and I think that the subject of magic overused. :| I'm sure it gets better once you actually know where they are and what the character looks like, but it doesn't really interest me.