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*Vin Diesel's favorite food is macaroni and cheese. His favorite drink is orphan's blood.

*Sooner or later, Vin Diesel will run out of people to fight. At this point he will have to fight himself. We call this the apocalypse.

*Vin Diesel once spun a dreidel so fast it he created a portal to another dimension.

*Vin Diesel shares his bed with 12 puppies that he has trained to lick his face when he needs to wake up in the morning, in place of an alarm clock.

*A lot of people find the word
midget to be offensive; Vin Diesel doesn't care what you call them as long as they are not over-cooked and come with a side of cole slaw.

*Vin Diesel eats his weight in Tom Cruise every morning.

*Vin Diesel loves saunas. In fact, Vin has one in his very own house which he uses every day. It's called his fireplace.

*Vin Diesel knows over 10,000 ways to a panda.

*When Vin Diesel recently underwent surgery to remove an obstructed liver, surgeons were surprised to find a smaller Vin Diesel inside him.

*In modern society, the act of consuming children is called
"unforgivable" and "deranged". Vin Diesel calls it "breakfast".

*If one pulls really hard on Vin Diesel's left arm, his eyes begin rolling really quickly and he has a 50% chance of vomiting assorted coins. He hates it when people do this to him.

*Vin Diesel is a Pisces who enjoys long walks on the beach, sunsets, and turning kittens inside-out.

*Vin Diesel Once ate seven orangutans after losing a game of Go Fish to Jesus.

*Vin Diesel lives in a castle that he built by hand using bricks made of the compressed souls of the damned.

*Vin Diesel tried to start a business where he would recharge batteries simply by gripping them in his hands.

*Vin Diesel's mother used to pack him TWO Lunchables.

*The free toys inside cereal boxes were all hand-made by Vin Diesel as a gift to the children. He sometimes puts live hand grenades in the cereal boxes to teach children "self defense".

*Vin Diesel was about to destroy all of N*Sync, but stopped because he doesn't hurt women.

*In 1972, Vin Diesel was sent to prison by a military court for a crime he didn't commit. He promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade, killed all the guards, burned that er down and made a treefort out of human sku

**The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.

*When God said, "Let there be light!" Chuck Norris said, "Say please."

**Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

**Chuck Norris lost both his legs in a car accident...and still managed to walk it off.

**Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as giraffes.

**Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.

**Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul.

**Chuck Norris eats steaks for every single meal. Most of the time he forgets to kill the cow.

**What was going through the minds of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

**If you spell "Chuck Norris" in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

**Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice his steaks.

*Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.

*Chuck Norris once taught a class called "Ass Kicking 101". There were no survivors.

*Do you know why Baskin Robins only has 31 flavors? Because Chuck Norris doesn't like Fudge Ripple.

**Chuck Norris isn't funny, stop laughing.

**Chuck Norris is suing NBC for their show "Law & Order" claiming it is the trademarked names of his left and right legs.

**The original name of the movie was Alien vs Predator vs Chuck Norris, but the producers realized that nobody would ever watch a movie that only lasted fourteen seconds.

**When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror, it breaks because it is smart enough to know not to get in the middle of Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

**The following is a short list of things Chuck Norris cannot do: .

*Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and got one.

*Chuck Norris once went sky diving and promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.

**Chuck Norris had his tonsils removed with a chainsaw.

*A handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

**There is no 'Ctrl' button on Chuck Norris' com