It never gets easier like people say. A death of a loved one will always be there, lingering at the back of your mind and from time to time you shed a tear but you'll learn to cope.

In 5 years a lot has happened, i'm 22 soon and for the 5th year you wont be here to celebrate it with me. You would have been in your 80s now, old lady. The boys miss you so much especially Billy, he still sleeps with that teddy of yours although he wouldn't admit that if I asked him. Billy's doing his GCSEs now, Nan. He's 15 years old and he's so intelligent you'd be so proud of him. As for Ryan he's in his second year of secondary school and he might be a little crap at times but he's such a loving kid and so, so funny. I wish Ryan had more time to spend with you and got to know you like Billy and I did but we'll always talk about you and tell him how amazing you were. Mum misses you more than anyone though, she struggled a lot but she got through it, got back into estate agency I hope you're ecstatic for her because I was. I know you're watching over her.

One day i'll come live with you I assume that's not for many, many decades yet though. Till then you'll still be alive in my memories.

I love you forever Nan <3

So 2016 was a huge year for me. It wasn't the best but it by far was not the worst. I started my first job, started being more social in real life, "quit" Mara for all of 2 weeks and just altogether it was nice. This is a list of the people on Mara and in my real life that made a huge impact in my 2016:

Tuna

This lady. Oh goodness this lady is so funny. Like with most of the people i'm about to talk about I met Tuna (Succubus) on the RC group chat. I can always rely on her to cheer me up whether that be with her words of wisdom or through snapchats of worlds cutest children. She quickly became someone I could fully open up with and just be me which sometimes I find difficult but she's too lovely and never judges me no matter how weird or deep I get and she's a mix between a big sister and another mum. Thank you Tuna for making my 2016 that little bit brighter with your being.

Lizzy
So this person is Lizzyful/Autumn/Lizzy. She's super. I love this person so much and the amount of stuff she has to deal with is horrendous but she's always so strong and upbeat. Her snapchats make me cry laugh and I have so many of them screen shot on my phone for days when I need a pick me up. Like with Tuna I can just be me around this goof and I can always rely on Lizzy to put a huge smile across my face. Thank you for everything you've done for me you super duper and beautiful human.

Ris
Ris is my religion. I don't really know what to say she's just brilliant such an absolute nut I love it. Always seems to bring out the best in everyone and brings RC and the skype chat to life. Her hair's awesome and I would love her eyebrows. Her topics are my favorite and ugh, just Ris. Dudes, just Ris...

Martyn
MARTYN IS MY COOL COOKIE. This guy and his chins give me life. Again this person is so strong with everything he deals with. This cookie is constantly in pain and sleeps for like an hour a day i'm not really sure how he copes but he's never snappy with us always there in chat with his music recommendations and just Martyness.

Ed
One of the most giving people you'll ever meet just wants to make people happy honestly so glad i've finally become friends with him after seeing him around forums for a couple of years and constantly wanting to befriend him but always being too shy. Ed you're fabulous and I hope one day you're confident enough to chat