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IAmAWerido
  1. The Princess Of Monsters
    6th Feb 2009 17:40
    17 years, 4 months & 25 days ago
  2. Awesome!
    21st Dec 2008 17:36
    17 years, 6 months & 11 days ago
IAmAWerido 9 Comments
The Princess Of Monsters
17 years, 4 months & 25 days ago
6th Feb 2009 17:40

Planet Galafrix, my home planet. The most beautiful planet in the world, until it was destroyed. My people,the ellinites died to save the universe. And this is me and my
peoples story.

I heard my bedroom door open then one of my maids popped into my room. "Princess your father will see you now." My head servant said to me as I was waking up.
"Tell him i'll be there when i'm dressed."
"No, he says this is important. You should go see your father now."
"O-k," then she left. I wondered what was the matter. The last time he made me come so quickly when he found out I had the gift. The horrible gift to see in everyone's thoughts, to have the ability to open portals threw walls, to kill with one look. I was a monster, a monster with a crown. The princess of monsters. Even though I haven't
found a soul with the monistic powers, I know there is at least one. My fathers enemies son, Torric. I've only seen pictures of him. He was a lovely sight. Shoulder length brown hair, a perfect shaped nose, blue eyes that were to die for. Mine, his, and earth are the only planets in the whole universe with the same looks. We all look like humans.
Even though we all have different names. "Emmiline I thought I told you your father wanted you?" The maid was back, I never looked at her before really she had long straight black hair, emerald green eyes, rosy cheeks, and perfect colored lips. She was quite beautiful I thought in my head before I responded to her. "Sorry Miss Melonie."
"It's ok princess but rush." I ran out of my room and kept up my pace "Walk!"
"Yes madame." I stopped my running and went into a fast walk. " She'll never learn." Melonie mumbled.
"I heard that!" I heard her giggle a bit. I walked fastly down the corridor passing doors, and pictures of the past kings, queens, and princes. I was the only princess on the walls, and I know why even if my father says because i'm special, I stopped and looked at my picture on the creamy colored walls. Then I started in a run until I was right next to my fathers ancient wooden bedroom door. I paused for a couple of seconds to get my breath then I pushed open the door. I saw my gray haired, gray eyed, high cheek boned dad coughing on a wooden chair big enough to hold his weight when I walked into his room.
"Emmiline there you are I was getting worried!" My father said before he started coughing up a storm. I curtseyed as I asked."What is wrong?"
"I don't want you to get worried but... Kellain and Torric came here last night try7/410*/-9+
.3ing to get you again...."
"What's so important about that? They've been trying to get me for years now!"
"Yes, I know but he threatened me, he is going to attack us in five days if I don't give you up. I wanted you here so you can help me decide on either we should fight or give you. I think we should fight."
"Of course you want to fight, you wanted to start a war over a silly piece of fruit!"
"It was not a silly piece of fruit!"
"Yes it was!" I headed towards the door."You know which one I want to do." Then I left, I ran towards my room even though Melonie doesn't think a princess should
run. I slammed my door shut so the maids would think I was mad. For a odd reason I looked around my room. It was almost all pink, my bed spread was pink, so was most of my furniture, and the walls were also pink. I saw a picture of me on one of my walls. I paced around my room until I paused in front of my mirror. My blond hair was nice for not doing anything after I woke up, my emerald eyes looked tired, and my pale lips looked scared. Then my door opened and there was Melonie. "Are you ok I heard your door shut loudly?"
"Yeah I'm fine."
"Ok..." then she left, when I was for sure I knew she wouldn't be coming back I started pulling off my clothes. I opened up my closet door and stepped in. My closet could be a room I thought as I went to the very back of my closet through all the dresses and gowns. I opened a secret door in the back of my closet and pulled out a pair of jeans and a black shirt. I quickly closed my secret compartment and changed. I went to the very front of my huge closet where my shoes were. I looked over the thousands of shoes I had until
I found the pair I was looking for. A pair of black boots, I slipped them on quickly and went threw the closet door. I headed towards my window that led to the royal garden.
I loved that my room was on the first floor. I opened up the window and put one leg threw and when my whole body was out and I was closing the window I heard
"Halt!" Then I heard foot steps coming towards me fastly. I looked around for a easy way to get out of talking to the guards, but there was none."Who are you?" One of them yelled. What was I gonna do I thought, I would have to talk to my dad about this. He'll yell at me I thought. Then I started giggling about the thought of my dad trying to yell at me. "Who are you laughing at?" The same voice asked another question. They were almost touching distance now. "Who said it was a who?" I snapped. Then I gasped any of the guards knew my voice, so if they were smart they should know it's me."Crab apple," I muttered under my breath to quiet for the guards to hear. "Oh it's just you Emmi."
"Oh it's just you Emment!" I turned around as I spoke back to him. I was relived that it wasn't guards but Emment isn't that much better then guards. I went on to the tips of my
toes so I could atleast be at his neck. Emment was the tallest servant, and the only one other then Melonie that bothered me. Even though I didn't mind him bothering me.
"You haven't changed much."
"It was two days since you last bothered me. I doubt anyone could change anougth in two days that you could see that they change!"
"Mad much?" I just rolled my eyes at that statement, but he was right I was mad. My dad would rather save one person then his whole kingdom. Was that suppose to make me happy?
"Where are you going?"
"I don't know," looked from his golden brown eyes to the ground then back to his eyes again. His eyes were allmost the same color of honey. I let my heels touch the ground again
slowly and softly. I saw a piece of his long light brown hair by his eye. Why isn't he fixing his hair I thought. I would of fixed it the second it fell into my eye. I reached up to his
face and tried to fix his hair. But, before I could he was holding my wrist."What are you doing?"
"I was trying to fix your hair."
"I think my hair is good enough." I just looked at him his white teeth glittering at me in his best smile." Can I please just move a piece of your hair out of your eyes?"
"Why?"
"Cus it's bothering me." He bretenned to think for awhile switching his weight from one foot to the other. "Ok, you can but don't hit me." I rolled my eyes, then I went back
on my tip toes and reached my hand up by his face and took the lock of hair and put it behind his ear, then I patted his cheek. "Ok, that's better." He just kept showing
his teeth at me."Lets go walking."
"I don't really want to though Emment." He steped a step closer and took my face in his hands. "Were going walking."
"Ok," then he took his hands off my cheeks. "Ok lets go." Then he slipped one of his hands on one of mine, and we started walking. We walked my favorite path in the garden
until we reached my stone bench, I sat down first on the cold stone bench. I looked around at the plants that surronded us, they were all beautiful. It was my earth garden.
It only had plants from earth. Daisies, roses, tulips, sunflowers, and whole lots more. "Do you want to go by the water?" I nodded and smiled, i stood back up and went behind the bench
stepped over a couple of bushes and put my right foot on one of the stones on the wall. I put my left foot by my right on the stone and pulled myself up onto the top of the wall.
I jumped off the wall, I allmost landed on my feet but the slippery ground made me fall on my butt. Emment was there by my side. "Are you ok?" I looked up into his eyes and saw the
worry in them. "Yes."
"Good I don't ever want anythign ever to happen to you." Then he took me into his arms giving me a big hug. When we both walked to the water fall the spot we always sat on was
covered in scum. "Ugh it's all covered in scum."
"Here," he laid his holey coat on the rock and sat on it. He patted the spot by him for me to sit, and I did. He crossed his legs as he asked me. " So..... what was bothering you so much?"
"What are you talking about? I'm absolutly fine." I grinned at him trying to make him belive my little white lie. " I know your lieing Emmiline I can see it in your eyes." I looked down
as he said that I was lieing, he took my face into his hands again but this time he brushed his thumbs agaisnt my cheek as he was holding my face. I knew he was just doing this
to comfort me and it was working. "Can you please tell me?"
"Were going into war." He just stared at me, he knew why we were going into war so I didn't have to tell him. He pulled me to his chest to let me cry, and I did.


I know it's not so good, please comment.
=]

LaurenAlissa12
'Planet Galafrix, my home planet. The most beautiful planet in the world'

Not to be rude, but I think you should change that, maybe say- 'Planet Galafrix, my home planet. The most beautiful planet in the galaxy' Because... There can't be a planet 'IN' the world. The world is referring to planet earth. You cant put planets in diffrent planets. Got me?
Bronze Shield 115 years, 2 months & 4 days ago 30th Apr 2011 12:52
 
Bronze Shield 116 years, 2 months & 10 days ago 23rd Apr 2010 20:53
 
i like it!!!
Bronze Shield 117 years & 17 days ago 18th Jun 2009 10:00
 
AWESOME
Bronze Shield 117 years & 26 days ago 9th Jun 2009 07:25
 
this is pretty intresting...... i like it.
Bronze Shield 117 years, 1 month & 13 days ago 22nd May 2009 09:56
 
I like it
Bronze Shield 117 years, 2 months & 22 days ago 12th Apr 2009 01:25
 
Thanks
Bronze Shield 117 years & 4 months ago 3rd Mar 2009 19:26
 
Also, you forgot to capitalize some I`s. :]
Bronze Shield 117 years, 4 months & 10 days ago 21st Feb 2009 18:03
 
Its better if you double space inbetween paragraphs. =P It just makes it looks nicer.

Dialogue of different people should be in separate paragraphs.

Some words should be present instead of past, and you should use 'and' or a comma in some sentences.

Other than that, it is pretty good. :]
Bronze Shield 117 years, 4 months & 10 days ago 21st Feb 2009 17:59
 
  1. The Princess Of Monsters
    6th Feb 2009 17:40
    17 years, 4 months & 25 days ago
  2. Awesome!
    21st Dec 2008 17:36
    17 years, 6 months & 11 days ago


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