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Note to staff: I used to have the same IP as my brother but we now don’t use the same IP.

Name: Vee
Age: Past my best
Expected Mummy due date:12th November 2018
Day I became a Mummy: 3rd of November 2018
Day I became a Godmother: 16th June 2019
Expecting 2nd little girl: 15th January 2022
Had 2nd little princess: 11th January 2022 I hope you’re happy and healthy.

Eon

Activity Log

I just want some friendsEon

But I always feel too boring for people or too weird or too depressing and so I stop talking to them in fear of them ignoring me which doesn't even make sense.
I wish I was the old me who was just herself but I'm digging myself further and further into my own bottomless pit then I have the nerve to wallow in self pity like it isn't my own fault.

I don't even know what to do anymore, I have a total of 1 persons I can be confident me with and I can't keep them forever.

Eon5 Jul 201414comments

Comments (14)

36 KarlachOddly enough, I know how you feel. It's just irritating. All it takes is one person whose opinion you valued to make one feel like this. :/ If you ever need to talk, mail me
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51 EonI don't think people realize how much their opinion can hurt someone :\ Thank you a lot, I'm here for you too ❤️
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36 KarlachRight? I mean yeah, it's 'just words', but 'just words' can have a lot of impact and influence on someone. Yah, they /do/ hurt. Thanks ❤️
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51 EonIt is worse when the words come from family members who are meant to be there for you and support you, I remember a few years back I must have been about 13/14 my Nan telling me I'd never accomplish anything and what was worse is she was the family member I respected the most, I adored my Nan so I believed her and as a result acted up during the rest of my school years.
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36 KarlachThat's not even cool. I hate it when family members do that. My dad is bad about it. Really controlling and he might not realize it, but when he gets p!ssed he likes to verbally take it out on me and my mom. Like I've been called so many things it's not even funny. And half the time he comments how unhealthy my earring habits in the aspect of being fat when he eats probably 3x as much as me (and it's not my fault that almost all the food in our house is junk food that they buy) and the other half he comments about thinking I have an eating disorder because I eat less than he does, healthier than he does, and he doesn't often see me eat. I can eat without his supervision, Jesus. It makes me want to hit a wall.
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51 EonI have a friend with a father like that and it isn't nice too see. Parents and family members should know not to criticize their loved ones because we grow up and tend to revolt against them and then they wonder why. Treat loved ones with respect, in fact treat everyone with respect because no one deserves to feel bad about themselves over something you've said.
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36 KarlachExactly! Honestly the only reason I'm putting up with them is because I need them to pay my college tuition after I graduate. Ts is my final year in high school, thank God. Can't wait to be away from them. Like, I understand that they do a lot for me, but when every other hour is some kind of derogatory comment or insult it gets tiresome.
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50 QueenAww ❤️ I am sorry to hear you feel that way I can relate in some aspects myself. If you ever want to talk, I am here ❤️ I love talking (:.
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51 EonI can relate, I adore my Mum but don't really get along with my step Dad, mainly for the way he treats my Mum. Also looking forward to either the day they end it or until I can afford a place of my own. Just remember whatever your Dad says isn't true, you honestly seem like a wonderful person and as for eating well.... All I can say to you from what you said is he sounds like a hypocrite and should look at whos eating habit he is complaining about.
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51 EonThank you ❤️ also here if you need to talk. I'm literally always free especially seeing as it is the holidays now and for the first 2 weeks I'm making it my goal to become a hermit crab.
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63 AngiI feel like that too in most social settings. It's been a battle that I've fought all my life but now at the ripe age of 22, I've finally come to accept that there will be people who don't like you for who you are or what you do. It's just how life works. I'm fortunate to have one person whom I can open up to easily and she's been my rock for the last 4 years. I have people tell me I'm really shy or quiet like its a bad thing but in my defense, I can say a lot of crap if you spark my interest but if whatever you're talking about is boring, then ya I probably won't say much! Sorry, just a small pet peeve of mine lol My family is also hypercritical about my eating habits and weight. I don't really see a problem with my weight, like I'm chubby but not extremely overweight. They can't accept that, probably because in their culture, most women are thin. Well, they can blame themselves for giving me these genes I'm not sure if I've been helping and just rambling but I understand where you're coming from so if you ever need to vent to someone, you can always hit me up ^^
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36 KarlachIt's stopped really hurting, and now it's more just irritation. About two years ago during the softball World Series in Florida that my rec team was playing in he kind of lost it and just berated me to the point I had enough. The condo was right on the beach, and I was so tempted just to do something permanent because he had started getting so bad. Glad I didn't, and I'm so lucky to have my grandma to all to. She understands it completely, and it's always nice to talk with her.
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75 MommaCatsTrust yourself, don't let others judge you. If someone says something negative it is because they don't really know you, so let it roll away. Up to the time I was about 15 I was afraid to even buy a pack of gum, terrified I'd open my mouth and people would laugh. My mother had made me that insecure. Then I decided that IF people laughed, I'd laugh with them. But they didn't laugh unless I wanted them to. Some people interpreted my shyness for aloofness. I grew up happy and well-adjusted. And confident. I have never had a large number of friends, but I'd rather have a few good ones than a lot of so-so ones. Just be the best person you can be and all the pieces will fall into place.
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75 LawI can not believe that I came across this post Vee... because I am exactly in the same situation as yours and until now I could not find the words to explain it. It was(is) depleting me in ways I can not tell. But now I kind of know. It's a slap. I had tunnel vision and expected life to be a certain way. Now that my life didn't come out to be that way, I just stopped talking to everyone around me, my friends - even the best ones. They put efforts into talking to me but I was ..I don't know...absent? Skulking? I put them on hold, never replied while retrogressing. It's a weird phase I am going through. ...I crafted limiting beliefs and shielded myself from love and happiness by refusing to put myself out there. And as I did all of this, I sat back and wondered why life was so miserable. Wow. I can not believe. Until now I was drowning myself in a sea of negativity and I still have no idea how to swim through. I want to be the old me - fun, smart & content. :/ /(I just mailed all my friends, apologising now that I've realized so much, because of you - Thank you so so so much V)
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